33,000 Feet and counting

---

Back from E-town. Got to see mostly everybody, minus you Kris, cause I don't know your number, and you Scott cause you were working. Overall, trip was good. Now the flight there and back, that's a different story. Let me give you a taste of the horror...

09/17/03: 6:55pm PST - Flight is already delayed five minutes. Cabin cleaning, they say. Imagine a grocery clerk announcement, "Wet cleanup in Aisle 5". Only with this, it's not a broken jar of pasta sauce, but rather an orally spilled casserole of croissants, peanut butter, NY Striploin, one too many helpings of No Name fudge pudding, and whatever else big Bertha managed to cram down her throat during the previous flight. Think grade 5 science fair experiment, with the vinegar and baking powder volcano. It's an eruption of gastrointestinal proportions.

09/17/03: 7:03pm PST - Plane is taxiing down towards the runway. At this breakneck speed, we shall achieve takeoff in no more than 2 days or so... Imagine your dead grandmother taking her rigor mortis for a stroll through the park. It's that nauseautingly fast. The Boeing 737 navigates through km's of winding asphalt before reaching runway 32. With the distance travelled, we could have driven halfway down to Edmonton already...

09/17/03: 7:10pm PST - Flight attendants have finished their mime routine to the in flight safety narrative. The helplessly trapped passengers (that's me) stare on unamused. Imagine an educational video on the marvels of modern mathematics. How thrilling... I put on my earphones to drown out the screaming little heathen and its mother next to me. Halfway through song # 2, the MP3 player runs out of juice and dies a selfish death, leaving my ears to bear the sonic assault of a bored toddler. Thinking to myself, this is gonna be one LONG assed flight, I feel the KILL-o-Meter gage rise rapidly...

Currently listening to: Billy Talent - This is How it Goes

posted by George at 11:32 PM       Comments (0)